It hasn’t escaped my attention that the last post published on this blog was in April. That’s – gulp – almost 5 months ago. And it was about Valentine’s Day (in February, lest we forget.) Goodness me.
In my defence, I’d like to remind everyone that I had been planning to do this for four years before eventually getting round to it, so I might still call it an achievement. But I accept that it hasn’t really been an, erm, consistent endeavour and so I plead for your forgiveness. What happened? I found a boy.
Oh, irony of ironies, I got so distracted by dating a wonderful man that I had neither time nor inclination to make bad decisions, let alone blog about them! I was so swept up in the excitement that a) online dating had actually worked and that b) I was going on dates with someone I was into that I neglected to write anything at all about how it had all come to pass.
You can see that things might have changed a little. Hello again, horrible world. (I jest. I got very, very drunk a lot of times and things are better now. Almost.)
These last few months have taught me something valuable though: convenience > commitment. The thing about commitment is that you have to want it and you have to mean it. Convenience is, well, convenient – and that makes it easier to choose. That sounds obvious, right? – and I suppose it is. When push comes to shove, how many times have we all committed to something and then taken the easier option? A morning fitness class we’ve ducked out of because we’ve not slept well? Dinner with a friend we’ve promised and then never quite got around to arranging? I’m guilty on both counts. And of course – of not writing about dating because just doing the dating was easier. Even though I’ve had BLOG written on a bright pink Post-It stuck to my computer screen at work for almost 5 months. And even though I’ve often thought about it.
Don’t get me wrong: sometimes convenience is the better option. Sometimes that extra hour in bed will do you more good than any sunrise Zumba class ever could. Sometimes not going on that date in favour of ordering pizza with your housemate is the best decision you could have made that evening. But sometimes it’s important to pay attention to that reminder – Post-It or otherwise – before it’s suddenly been almost half a year with no evidence of commitment. (Just so that we’re all keeping up here: it was much easier [more convenient] for me not to even raise the question of a proper relationship [commitment] with this man just in case he didn’t want it. This in turn made it much easier for him to disappear in the end.)
I know myself well enough to not make any bold statements about commitment here. I’m not making any promises. But I’m going to try really, really hard. (And I might even write about him one day.)